Suicidal Snowflakes

Just because I have a short attention span doesn\’t mean I…

Yeah, me too, dude.

We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.

 

-Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

 

Seriously.  There’re just some days when the goodness and trueness of stuff just thwapps ya right between the eyes like painful but largely harmless b-b shot.

September 14, 2006 Posted by | Quotology | Leave a comment

HUH???

Granted, it’s 4:01 am, and I’m doing homework, holding both the book and highlighter (mmm… highlighter) awful close to my face… but what in the hell does this mean?

“It is the aboutness or isness of the relationship to it that varies.”

WTF?

The only thing that I can think of is maybe President Clinton really DIDNT have sex with that woman, Monica Lewinsky.

I need to stop biting on this highlighter like it’s a cigar.

January 27, 2006 Posted by | Crazy and/or Weird, My Little Pony, Quotology, Random & Miscellany, Wordy | 1 Comment

Who can you trust?

“If you can’t trust Marty McFly, who can you trust with Time Travel?”

Indeed, Glenn. Who CAN you trust?

I trust the genetically-enhanced monkeys. Once we inject them with human brain cells, they’ll have the human intellegence and earthen wisdom to safely guide us into our technological birthright of time travel.

PS, if I give ya a buck fiddy, can you pick me up one of those thar sports almanacs?

July 20, 2005 Posted by | Nerdology, Quotology | Leave a comment

I laughed so hard I leaked.

July 18, 2005 Posted by | Quotology | 1 Comment

Dripping dripping….

I got really fricking wet today. Which makes me sad because it wasn’t at the swimming pool. In fact, the skies opening up and pouring fourth killed my plans for going swimming today. We hates rain. We hates it, precious.

More fun funness:

Jenn: Hurry up, we gotta go to the Harry Potter party. I need enough time to pick up a geek.

Mary: We should have painted a Harry Potter scar on Charlie. He’d have totally won that character contest.

Jenn: We’ll get you a corset, Mary. A corset will give you boobs. Corsets put boobs on thirteen year old boys.

Mary: We’ll hog-tie him. Then put a scar on his forehead.

July 15, 2005 Posted by | Quotology | Leave a comment

Superboy comes from a more modern “rainbow” family

Jenn: Why did Superboy shave his head? Why did he scratch out his S and put an L there? Is he mad that Lex Luthor is his daddy?

Me: Yes.

Jenn: But how can Lex Luthor be his daddy? Superboy has superpowers

Me: That’s because Superman is ALSO his daddy.

Jenn: Kon El has two daddies?

Me: Yes, I know. It’s a slash fan fiction nightmare.

July 14, 2005 Posted by | Comics, Quotology | 1 Comment

More words of wisdom from Dr. T.

“Liability is like catnip for lawyers.”

July 12, 2005 Posted by | Quotology | Leave a comment

Pointless, out of context, funny as hell.

“One day, George Lucas is dead.”

–Dr. T. talking abou digital preservation

And that’s why lectures are fun.

July 11, 2005 Posted by | Quotology | 1 Comment

This actually seemed funny when I was drunk.

1. There are no cats in America.

2. Sperm whales are not, in fact, made entirely out of sperm. They are actually 45% sperm, 45% spam, 10% polyester.

3. Superman thinks you’re a dick.

4. If it makes you feel better, Superman IS a dick. As evidenced by all the dickish things he’s doing to Jimmy Olsen all the time. And the Olsen twins. They hate his guts for starting that rumor about Mary Kate

5. I was going to crap on your computer as a little present, but James wouldn’t let me. So I just typed a buncha shit instead.

6. There continue to be no cats in America.

7. Once, I saw a bunny with a pancake on it’s head. I blogged it. Then I ate it. The bunny, not the pancake. Do you think I’m sick or something?

8. Meat continues to be made 100% from animal, even to this day.

9. Unless it’s a McDonalds hamburger. Those are 50% meat, 40% soy, 10% pulped shoe laces. They used to also include 5% hate, but the apathy society protested.

10. Take two, they’re small.

11. Dragons taste just like frog legs. Which taste just like dinosaur. Which tastes just like chicken. Or so my lawn gnome told me.

12. There is no number twelve.

June 26, 2005 Posted by | Quotology | 1 Comment