Suicidal Snowflakes

Just because I have a short attention span doesn\’t mean I…

Stuff I wish I could put on my resume, but can’t:

1) I’ve been told my Joker is better than Mark Hammil’s Joker

2) I know which vehicle has the most trunk space of any four-door ever built

3) I pride myself on never having watched Titanic

4) I’m very good at making young girls on other continents cry.

5) The internet loves me, even if you don’t, heartless bastard

6) Have never cut myself shaving.

7) Can hit the D above the treble staff for real and in a way that doesn’t make people’s eyes explode. Never made my high school musical, tho.

8)  Full of useless information.

9) Wrote 5,000 words a day for an entire month once.  Continued writing school papers but added to that a novel (that got finished!) and a journal article that actually got published

10) Throw really nice dinner parties that’re entirely diabetic/weight watchers safe.


August 10, 2006 - Posted by | Angst, Unwashed Masses


  1. How have you never cut yourself shaving? You must have Zen-like patience when wielding your Lady Bic. I once cut myself so badly it bled all day. I’ve got scars.

    I always thought your Batman was better than most of the stuff published. You make him very grumpy yet human, like a man perpetually walking around without the day’s first cup of coffee.

    Comment by Heather | August 10, 2006

  2. 5,000 words a day? Damn. Color me impressed.:) No, seriously. I’m not being scarcastic.

    Comment by paperback writer | August 10, 2006

  3. yeah. I needed a lobotomy when I was done with that month, but dammit, I got everything done I needed to (having a week of vacation followed by a four day weekend at thanksgiving helped). Right now I’m doing 6 pages a day, and that’s positively clipping for me.

    Comment by battybeyond | August 10, 2006

  4. heather… Old Man Wayne is the image of my inner grumpiness 😉 any sort of personableness is just a clever act on my part. Which I guess is a good thing to use my extremely expensive undergraduate education on. Lord knows I’m not using it for any thing else at the moment.

    PS. I hate this new format.

    Comment by battybeyond | August 10, 2006

  5. yeah, this format isn’t working for me either. i thought maybe wordpress was having a migraine.

    still envious of you and writing six pages a day…i’m lucky to have six pages of drool.

    Comment by paperback writer | August 10, 2006

  6. In college, I corrected term papers for beer money. In “Real Life” I correct job applications for beer. Improvement? Maybe. Higher education is the best con in the world. Tens of thousands of dollars to educated you enough to earn those beers outright.

    Comment by Heather | August 10, 2006

  7. I don’t like the format because it looks like I’m typing on human flesh (strange background color) and the links keep overlapping my comment box. Is this 800×600 compliant? =P

    Comment by Heather | August 10, 2006

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