Suicidal Snowflakes

Just because I have a short attention span doesn\’t mean I…

Oh yeah…

Happy anniversary to my Boo.  It is three years ago today that we were joined in holy matrimony and stuff. Marriage is rilly rilly gewd and stuff. U should try it. 


It has rained since the 10th every single day.  Today the skies opened up and were a perfect blue dotted with the fluffiest little white clouds.  It's long sleeve/jacket weathe, even though it's 2/3 of the way through May.  Of course, I was jogging in short sleeves in January, and there were some 79, 81 degree days in April, so that's no real way to judge things.  

Anyhow, the day we got married was a bit gloomy.  The skies were cloudy but not ugly and grey.  It was warm, I was wearing my only pair of jeans shorts to the rehersal.  The shirt and shorts I wore are in the dryer right now which isn't relevent at all, but I figured I'd just throw it out there.

As the day went on, it got muggier and muggier.  I'll always be grateful to James' sister for helping me get dressed.  I think I'd have had a nervous breakdown if I would have had to have done my own hair. I don't know why, things were just going that way that day.  

We ordered food in the room while we were getting dressed and I over-ordered by a whole bunch.  Ordering with my tummy and not my brain. For the first time in my life, I had to stuff my bra.  The dress fit perfectly everywhere but had somehow gotten a little loose in the boobal reigion when I changed my routine at the gym a little.  I used dish towels under  my boobs for a little extra push and it looked rather nice.  I remember my sister's petty coat sticking to my legs while I tried to eat chinese food. The air conditioning was on, but I was still warm.  

Toni and I both chose to wear flats (function over form, yo).  I'd like to brag about how my shoes cost $14 at Payless for a moment.  Toni got a designer dress off of ebay and vintage shoes that she was rather fond of.  My dress was also from ebay, from a company in Hong Kong.  It ended up being $135 with shipping, and my grandmother gave me $100 for the dress. I'll always remember that she did that for me, not because I was hard-up, or because it was some duty she had, she did it because she wanted to participate in my wedding preparations.  I kind of wish she had been in better shape, and had been able to participate more.  I think she'd have enjoyed picking things out, etc. We did things low-key and on the cheap, but I think we'd have gone a little further with the plans, just for the sake of her having fun.  

By the time we got to the church, it was raining really, really hard. Warm globs of rain fell down which somehow managed to make the air hotter.  It almost stung, like touching a hot water radiator.  Toni and I picked up our dresses and tip-toed through the water into the church.  It was just as humid in there.  We took some pictures, messed with my hair piece and mostly just stood around for a long time.  James had a panic moment when he decided realized the font in the little program I made was too small to read, and we had chosen to read the couple's prayer that was in the book of wedding stuff.  Ok, I had decided we'd read it.  But I kept trying to get him interested in picking stuff, and he was at first, then he was just like "ok, whatever, just tell me what you're doing," which I thought I had, but oh well…

My brother, who doesn't believe in God (so he says–you know what happens to those people–they become priests), was kind enough to do one of the readings when one of my sisters chickened out.  It was weird, I told her several times I wanted her to read the second reading, but she got all "you know I dont read in public" on me at the rehersal.  Anyways, I appreciate that my brother did that for me.  He looked quite dapper in his red shirt and his red tie.  I totally wanted to post pictures and  put them on the internet.

I don't not remember everything that happened, but nothing else really sticks out in my mind as being something worth mentioning.  Other than we held hands through most of the mass, which I wasn't sure was koscher or not, but we did.  OH, and James was completely adorable with his blue suit jacket and the silver tie.  His best man looked like a little Mini-Me.  Mark was good enough to step in with little notice, and he gave a nice (short) speach at the reception…but he's a short dude with a round little hair cut like James, and he was totally doing the Mini-Me thing. 

The "reception" was just dinner at our place with cake and Ted's fantastical, magical chocolate chip cookies.  Mark makes me laugh.  The guy is another athiest (my wedding was an athiest party, I swear), but  is still culturally Jewish, so he was kind of offended that all we had was ham and veggies. Dude, if you don't believe in God, then what does it matter whether you eat the pig or not? 

But I probably get ahead of myself.  Let us now relive the agony and the extacy of the wedding cake.


Ahh.  Yes.  It was humid, and it was kind of leaning, my brother said, before they left for the church.  When we got back? The top two tiers were smashed against the wall.  Oh man.  I felt bad. Mom paid $125 for the cake, and the extra for the bakery to deliver and assemble it.  That aside, it was really REALLY good cake.  The cake by which all others shall be judged from now until the end of time. I guess the lead-lined paint from the walls of the old building was the secret ingrediant.  Or else maybe it was the almond extract.  Whatever, I don't judge.  

Toni had a little too much fun with the koscher wine Ted brought a few days earlier as a house-warming present.  The best part of that whole experience (besides watching Toni drink the quart of remaining wine from the huge green gallon jug) was watching James' and Toni's mother try to get her to stop drinking it out of the bottle. You could tell she was just *so* embarrased.

My parents took James' parents up to Mt. Washington to partake of the view when the weather finally broke.  It got cooler and a little less humid at some point during the evening.  My brother (think it was my brother) and Mark went on a booze run as the "grownups" began to leave, and we had some nice conversations among us all. My dad's mother just kind of sat there and smiled and listened to us. I was glad she came; my other grandparents couldn't make it.  My other grandmother wasn't feeling too well, and it would have been too long of a day for her.  

We watched the series finale of Buffy after everyone left, then went to bed.  The next day we got up really late and watched the Smallville season finale, as I recall, as well. All the tables that had been put out were still dirty; the white liners were a little shreaded.  The punch was still out, so was the cake.  I guess we should have been glad that someone had had the foresight to put the ham away, otherwise, with our lack of air conditioning, we'd have woken up to the smell of spam getting a tan.  

We had the whole rest of the week off.  We saw The Matrix Reloaded and went to Kennywood (which is my happy place, btw), watched some more TV and generally took it easy for a few days before we went back to the grind.  Not exactly a "real" honeymoon, but more consecutive days off from work than I can remember having in recent memory.  

Anyways, that was our big day.  One cake malfunction aside, everything went pretty well. And in three years we haven't killed each other, so that's a tick in the plus column.  And we're totally better at communicating now that we're both properly medicated. So yeah, we'll be together forever and stuff.  A Catholic marriage is kind of like the mob.  Only way out is in a pine box (or cement shoes).  So as long as he's a good monkey-bear, he shant end up swimmin' with the fishes. 


May 20, 2006 - Posted by | Thoughts, Wordy

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