Suicidal Snowflakes

Just because I have a short attention span doesn\’t mean I…

The best way to build a rapport with your librarian

Is to loosen the muscles in your face and let your jaw hang down, not like a mailbox door,but just kind of float there, like your mouth is full of cotton balls. Actually drooling is not preffered, but make it look like you COULD start drooling at any moment. Librarians will fall over themselves to help you. You see, they are genetically programmed to come to the aid and assistance of the terminally inept.

This may seem like a misleading way of obtaining help from the Library’s Finest, but you’re actually providing a service. You see, having someone to help who will not only be actually appreciative of said help but also couldn’t do it on his or her own brings meaning to their over taxonimized and under-alchoholized lives.

Or I guess you could say please and thank you and act interested when they talk. That could work too, I guess.


April 11, 2006 - Posted by | Angst

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