Suicidal Snowflakes

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ACLU Seeks Apology From NASCAR, Daytona 500 Winner

AP (Florida) In a press conference today, a spokesperson for the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) asked for an apology both from NASCAR and race car driver Jimmie Johnson. After winning the prestigious Daytona 500 race, Jimmie Johnson declared from the winners’ podium that “this is for all the hater.”

ACLU representatives maintain that the use of the term “haters” is a serious abuse of the urban vocabulary and is “found to be particularly insulting coming from a southern white male involved in a sport enjoyed primarily by rednecks and Caucasian minivan-driving suburbanites.”

NASCAR executives released a statement early Tuesday night, declaring that at the time of Jimmie Johnson’s podium announcement, the term “hater” was not under copyright. NASCAR has since begun work to secure the rights to the term, thus eliminating any future problems that may arise by the use of the term “hater.”

Representatives for Mr. Johnson and Lowes Racing have stated that they were unaware of any efforts to copyright the term by NASCAR, Inc. In a separate statement issued early Wednesday morning, Mr. Johnson regretted any confusion or inconvenience the use of a word thought to be “an obvious urban expression,” but states that “people who pee off their front porch have just as much right to any word listed in the New Oxford English Dictionary as anybody else, including people who deal drugs from theirs. ‘Course, it’ll be moot if NASCAR owns the word, then, now won’t it?”

Attempts to contact the ACLU for a reaction to these comments have been, at the time of this printing, unsuccessful.


February 22, 2006 - Posted by | NASCAR


  1. Did you get this from The Onion?

    Comment by HMC | February 27, 2006

  2. Haha. Everybody keeps asking me where I got it from. Isn’t it… even remotely…concievable that I wrote it myself? Anyways, I did. I’ve probably just been watching too much boondocks. You’re right. This font is really light. Hmm.. I’ll haveta see what i can do about that.

    Comment by battybeyond | February 28, 2006

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