Suicidal Snowflakes

Just because I have a short attention span doesn\’t mean I…

Does being a basket-case count as a disability?

there was a thing in the syllabus for one of my classes stating that we should talk to the student disabilities office if we had a disability that needed accounting for and needed any modified instruction. I’m not sure there is any sort of “modified instruction” you can give someone with ADD. Other than the kind of “therapy” in that one south park episode where the therapist just yelled at the kids 😉

I think I’m going to haveta, gasp, work in this class. Not like, work-work, like AT work, or MATH or anything like that–that stuff’s hard for me to figure out, and I never get it (well, math) and work is just work, and at work, everybody works. But like… doing stuff. I refer to stuff that takes a longn time to do and a lot of effort as “crap I haveta do.” Like that DIALOG assignment? That was work. I’m gunna have a lot of crap to do in this class. The teacher looks OK tho. I kinda dig what she did her doctoral thesis in, and I’m gunna see if I can dig it up (with my copious amounts of spare time, you know).

I just had the insane idea that I should take three classes this term and three the next and graduate in fall term. I have lots of reasons for it. I’ve determined that I CAN do 3 classes, even if it’s nerve-wracking. I might haveta give up the voice lessons temporarily so I can afford it and have time (especially since my kind employer now has me working saturday “indefinately,” which is my only day to take voice lessons, really).

I busted so much ass in undergrad to get out early becuase of the situation I was in. It was painful, and I spent six weeks on my mother’s couch watching powder puff girls because that was all my brain could handle… but I did it. Why do I always think of this stuff late in the game? Oh well, it wasn’t like I could do it summer term, when that was my first term. And it was impossible to cram any more shit into last term. Stuff started falling off the map, like eating things that wern’t candy or peanutbutter, excercise, hygene. You know… stuff.

I don’t know… I just need this period of my life to be over. Crazy little me, I’m thinking of doctoral studies, which I think would be “fun,” but that’s because I never had toys as a child and I think research papers and the History Channel are a hot way to spend a friday night. There’s sixty billion things I’m interested in,and could EASILY spend two or three years doing intense research into. maybe I need to pull something out of a hat 🙂

Oh well. Don’t know about my other class yet. still haven’t put away the good china from Christmas, and my office needs to be excavated before I do homework. I don’t know when this proverbial homework-doing will be, since I now work on saturdays. This is going to be… interesting.

A semi-friend from high school died in her sleep the night before last. I think she was a year or two younger than me. That’s just… wow. Very surreal. When I was in college, one of my classmates died in a carwreck over break. Another died of heart failure a few months after I graduated. That seemed less surreal than this. Not sure why.

Sunday I’m going to have to put away the Christmas stuff. I’m ready for it, but I kind of still don’t want to. Why do we put away the lights and stuff, if January and February are the coldest, darkest, most miserable months of the year? We should leave our lights up, and keep ’em burning till the first week of March. Maybe I need to over-decorate for presidents’ day and valentines day (and st. patty’s day, for that matter). Of course, our electric bill was insano, so… maybe not.

What else? Oh yeah, happy Twelth Night. In the medaevil world, today is the last day of the Christmas season, as The Epiphany is tomorrow, which is technically the 12th day of Christmas (go with me on this, guys). Now you know and knowing’s half the battle. Yo joe.

I hate to eat. I never think about it until I’m ready to gnaw off my own leg. And making stuff to eat is just way more time consuming than I want it to be. It takes like… several minutes. Sometimes more than five. Somehow, I’m broken and don’t realize I’m hungry until it’s the end of the world, which usually leads to me eating candy. Like last night, with my crappy salad. I got a salad to try to be somehow even remotely healthy, but the thing was miniscule. Like, I could see the styrophome on the bottom of the takeout tray. So OF COURSE, I was hungry in an hour.

ARG. I was going to go back to sleep for another hour or something, but there’s someone beating away with a hammer across the street. My iPod, of course, is in the car, so I cant even make a vane attempt at drowning thebastard out. This is one thing i hate about working off-shifts, and is even worse when you work the overnight shift–you’re trying to sleep and the world is going on around you, noisily.

Breaks need done, my monkey needs a new outfit from Build-A-Bear, and the universe is poopy. Oh wait, I have a $20 coffee card, after that debacle at Carabou. If my battery didn’t suck so bad and need to be replaced, I could go there and pretend to write while I guzzled down things meant to dehydrate me and keep me awake. Such is life.

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January 5, 2006 - Posted by | ADD, School

1 Comment »

  1. Do you plan to go into teaching once you have your degree?

    Comment by HMC | January 6, 2006


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