Suicidal Snowflakes

Just because I have a short attention span doesn\’t mean I…

They’re just supposed to be cute and fuzzy

it’s not supposed to be anything deeper than that.

We were watching that commercial, y’know, the one where the bears slide down the hill and interrupt the penguin party, and they give the polar bears Coke, and they drink the coke and smile and laugh and everyone’s happy.

I just like the commercial because polar bears are cute and fuzzy (when they’re animated. Real polar bears are scarry mother fuckers who’ll rip your head off and eat your splean with the mayonayse they requisitioned from the dump they hang out in). And I like it doubly good because there’re penguins in the commercial, and the penguins dance.

In a nutshell, here’s James’ beef: The bears have been drinking the coke for ten years. Why the hell do they act so damned surprised when they taste it, and it’s good?

Of course, you’re talking about the same animals that get their faces stuck in mayonasse jars because spoiled mayo rocks their chilly little worlds. And they like those big balls at the zoo way too much. So, y’know, it may be surprising to them every time when they taste the coke and it doesn’t eat their faces away like acid or something.

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December 18, 2005 - Posted by | My Little Pony

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