Suicidal Snowflakes

Just because I have a short attention span doesn\’t mean I…

Freak of the week

Jessica Simpson has gone from a cute B-list celeb to… I dunno, man. What do you call THAT? She looks like a monster from a B-movie. Where do we start??

Ok, the tan. Or “Jessica Mistook the Tan-in-a-can for bubble bath.” I’ve not seen someone that orange since John Kerry was running for president.

next… freaky eyes. I think she’s had a few minor plastic surgeries… which may add to the freakiness of her “surprised” expression. I hope she’s just surprised, and you can’t see white the whole way around her eyes ALL the time now.

The red lipstick. Schnikies. It’s… so… red. Between that and her glossy tongue, she looks like some kind of sea creature that’s going to lure sailors to their deaths.

Please… Jessica… just stop.

Oh yeah, and if you’re just doing drugs and that’s why you look so freaky, stop that too.

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August 24, 2005 - Posted by | Glitterati

2 Comments »

  1. Really, the thing that bothers me most in that picture is her roots. She’s a millionaire celebrity whatever. Her dark roots should not be showing. That’s just tacky.

    Comment by HMC | September 2, 2005

  2. HAHAHA!!! I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE MAKE FUN OF JESSICA SIMPSON!!!

    Comment by Kiley | April 27, 2007


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