Suicidal Snowflakes

Just because I have a short attention span doesn\’t mean I…

Hi Im “The Husband”

Hi, I’m the husband.

My name is James. I am not nearly as intellectual as my beautiful wife Tammy.

I thought up the idea for this blog, I had planned to read a little of the Catechism once a week and write an article about how I interpret it. I have one major flaw in my plan from the get go. I blog about as often as I shave my head. Often enough to be known for it but not enough to actually keep my head bald. Y’know?

I still plan to do it… y’know one of these days…

And the above statement is where my spiritual life is sitting. When you read posts from me, please be aware that I’m an American. I mean Clark Kent raised by the Midwestern Air Force parents who supported Reagan and thought Jimmy Carter was an idiot. A well meaning idiot, sure but he was an idiot.

Be aware I’m not culturally a Catholic. Catholicism for me growing up felt like a burden. I had no grounding in why we spoke Latin. I was born in November of ’74. I never saw a church with the railing until I saw a movie about Irish militants. My folks were the typical American family. Get in the car right now, Dammit we’re going to get God. You little shits are not going to make me late for Mass this Sunday. We sat in the pews silently and didn’t scratch our foreheads, didn’t sing latin, didn’t listen to homilies and did our 45minutes and ran.

Not my folks’ fault. They didn’t realize I wasn’t getting anything out of it even when I was 14 and an alter boy for two years. Just did nothing for me. It was a burden. I stopped going to CCD at 12 when I could tell that they were just rehashing old lessons and not teaching us anything. I stopped going to church at 16 and didn’t do anything spiritual till I read the Tao of Pooh and became a devout follower of David Carradine for a semester in College. It’s still a great book.

Then I was “pagan” for 5 years, well on and off anyway. Mostly I was at pagan gatherings and becoming a Catholic Apologist.

Then I met Tammy. She’s culturally Catholic, meaning her life revolves around the church at St. Mary’s here in Sharpsburg and the Oakland Cathedral, All Saints in Etna and now St Joe’s up on the hill and she actually wants to be there and sing. She’s so wonderful and if it made her happy that I go to confession and we get married in the Church, then I would do it for her.

It’s still a burden, and I do it for her. She doesn’t understand that right now, that’s the best I can do. In a world where the true believers don’t even pay attention to the rules, I’m happy to try because trying makes her happy.

I am a “recovering” Catholic? I am a new convert? I am a beginner, and have been for 30 years now. Only now am I learning what questions to ask, and how to find the answers.


August 23, 2005 - Posted by | Religion

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