Suicidal Snowflakes

Just because I have a short attention span doesn\’t mean I…

l-o-n-g day

Woke up at 6 due to intense cramp in neck, hot shower and subsiquent stretching did nothing to relieve the pain, began dying hair at 8am.

At 8:45, instead of ending up with purple hair, I ended up with magenta hair. It was later asked of me if I had tried the koolaid technique. I sense now that I would have probably gotten better results, had the Koolaid technique been employed.

Arrived at my grandparents at 9:15, my uncle and cousins, being the superior moving ninjas that they were, had everything half-moved before I even finished my shoddy half-assed breakfast. I helped Aunt Hilde get nonfurnature things ready to go. We eventually got some clothes picked for Nana, but then my other aunt had to go through and like repack all of that stuff. Killing her now. Somehow the task of shaving Nonna’s ‘stash and legs fell upon me. OH well. She changed my diapers, after all.

Got a lot of Great Grandma’s jewlery, including something mom bought me that she five-finger discounted out of mom’s jewlery box when I was a kid. Grandpap said he didn’t care what happened to it, so all us chicks scavanged through it. Lo and behold, I found great grandma’s wedding and engagement rings (a rather nice v-shaped interlocking set) among her Eastern Star stuff… You know, the ones he has accused mom, linda, me, jennifer and mary of stealing every time he thinks about it for the last 10 years (somehow melissa and hilde escaped this particular wrath). And all he had to say? Oh, ok. Damned crazy old man.

Then I went to my voice lesson, by then my back was spasming and other happy fun goodness, so it went OK, but everything was like 9 times more struggle than usual (and I already have a Struggle of +2).

Thennnnn (and THEN and THEN AND THEN AND THEN) I went over to my mom’s house and swiped with my dad’s permission my sister’s back massager thingy. I asked my brother where it was, he said he didn’t know, that Melissa probably broke it or something. I bet him money (invisible money, like our invisible brother bob) that it was up in Jenn’s room. And Lo and Behold–I am now the owner of all the money in the invisible Monopoly bank in my mind. oh yeah, and I scored the back rubby thingy. Which didn’t solve the oh my god why does everything hurt so damned much problem, but it goes a long way (awwwwww yeaaaaah-Glennism 103).

Then I had many cuddles and backrubbings which was quite nice. the only thing that could have made it better is if the bedroom was like 5 degrees cooler. I”m working on that right now. I totally closed some vents to force the air into our room. Like… the dining room doesn’t need to be cool while I’m sleeping. unless I secretly sleep-eat. Which might explain my so-called crappy metabolism. Oh wait, I’ve digressed. Again.

Lo and Behold (the magic rule of threes) THE POINT:

Wait, nevermind. We’re not that far in the story yet. It rained a whole bunch, the festival got a hardcore late start, did only about 1/4 the business of last night, and I drinkened the alkeeeholic bevedridges bevridges drinks. My whole personage hurts, and Father whats-his-name made such a terrible (and way worse than me) digression durring mass tonight, and Mary looked at me from across the church and mouthed ‘what the hell is he talking about?’ and all I could do was shrug.

So, y’know however bad I get, I wasn’t that lost today. He’s totally retiring in May, as he reminds all of us every chance he gets. I think his mind’s already on vacation 😉

Oh yeah and Apple has a software update that I’m ignoring hardcore until I’m like done with this post and have a nap. Word, yo.

THE END

Ps… my effing couch is resisting all of my attempts to recusitate it. It’s like it WANTS to be curbside fodder for the garbage truck monster. It WANTS to be sacrificed. Aparently the love seat does too because there was some kind of weird dryrot incident today with the back cushion. I guess they feel like they’re saving society in their own small way or something. Anyone got an extra sofa? I’ll trade you two crappy ones for one good one. That’s a killer deal, ya?

I only have one thing to say: Raxatoriumpalipatorius.

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August 21, 2005 - Posted by | Family & Friends, Random & Miscellany

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