Suicidal Snowflakes

Just because I have a short attention span doesn\’t mean I…

I say the darndest things…

Aparently I’m highly amusing to people. I say things without saying things, and everybody cracks up. Like when I was driving one day and my husband said something stupid and I called him Retardo Montiban. Whoever was sitting in the back seat (probably Mary, she laughs easily) was cracking up for eons and eons. Saturday I called someone Ricky Retardo in the car and that also cracked ’em up. Look, it’s not premeditated, this stuff just comes out of my mouth.

Today one of my coworkers said she liked my shirt, and instead of saying “thank you,” then shutting my mouth like a polite little Italian with good manners who doesn’t shame her mother… I said “I feel like Eleanor Roosevelt!” I can’t help it, it’s the tourrets. I swear. And both my coworkers started laughing. I can’t help it! I DO feel like I’m channeling Eleanor! It’s lavender and it has these weird chiffon tiers. I swear it looks like something Eleanor Roosevelt would wear. It’s not my fault.


August 1, 2005 - Posted by | Random & Miscellany

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