Suicidal Snowflakes

Just because I have a short attention span doesn\’t mean I…

Celebrating Diversity, or eat your fucking cookie.

You’re Catholic. You’re Jewish. You’re Muslim. You’re Athiest. You’re Irish. You’re African. You’re German. You’re Vietnamese. You’re fat. You’re anorexic. You’re female. You’re a recovering male. You’re a one-legged Curling coach. You lost your teeth in a horrifying French Fry accident. You were raised by wolves. Your sister was on Jerry Springer last night. You have bi-racial Smirf children who get alternatly picked on for their height and recucitated because they’re blue. A senator from Massachusets ate your little brother. You’ve had your pension raided by an Enron exec. You are an Enron exec. You have thirty-seven kids. All by different moms. You adopted a French Mime.

Congratulations, you’re a unique fucking snowflake. What do you want a metal? Eat this biscuit and shut the hell up.

What the hell is with this “celebrating diversity” bull shit, and why do you need to have a bumper sticker on the back of your car to tell me to do this thing? Like, without your bumper sticker I would go around clubbing everyone who’s different than me? What should I do? Throw a party for everyone who isn’t like me? Give them a “congratulations, you’re different!” ribbon?

or perhaps you’d like it if I’d go club MYSELF. Because I’m NOT different. I’m EXACTLY like ME.

Yes, yes, we’re all different, variety is the spice of life… whatever the fuck. We’re all special. That means NO ONE is special. Six billion unique snowflakes is just a fuck lot of snow. Get over your damned self.

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May 25, 2005 - Posted by | Chamomile

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