It’s a wiki world

Never create encyclopedia enteries for an online encyclopedia at 4am. You never know what will happen.

Conversation

Me: Guess where I’m at?

Friend: The third or FOURTH Level of Hell?

Me: Try like the tenth. You know... the one usually reserved for complete and total bastards.

Dishing shit about the weather.

The weather happens to be an obsession in my life. Mostly because I hate winter.

I’ve been, personally, very lucky this year. It’s been warm all through September (in the 80’s almost every day), and the beginning of October. Thursday, when I went jogging at 9pm, it was still in the 80’s. Friday was a little cooler, I was a bit chilly in my shorts and I had to wear a shirt with sleeves. Saturday was rainy and downright brisk. THAT is where fall comes from. It’s warm, then it rains and chills down about 20 degrees, andthe temperature never gets back up there. It’s always very sudden and startling. So, we’ve hit that point. I’m wearing two sweaters right now.

For the most part, the hills are still green though, going into the second week of October. There’re bits of red and yellow popping up, showing visible against all the rest of the green. For the most part, the trees still have their leaves. I wish it’d go on forever.

I hate the cold and the dead trees and the grey skies. It goes on forever and ever.

Visual jokes

Arn’t funny any more, when you have to explain that they’re funny because Robin’s head is in Hitler’s ass. And that’s funny. Because Robin’s head is in…

see?

Nevermind.

Entertainment Buzz

By Bizzaro Superman

Batman am worst coward ever. Bizzaro hate Batman with none of his soul. Bizzar hates Superman less. Batman am worst detective. Bizzaro feel bad to know Batman on job.

You watch Smallville? Bizzaro ignore Smallville every week. Bizzaro athiest about it. Bizzaro like Lana Lang. She am ugly with flat chest, though. Bad hair not enough; Bizzaro is happy she continues to be dead. Bizzaro knows Clark Kent would smile if Lana Lang live, but Clark Kent not get over it. Bizzaro feels good that Pa Kent not fly into walls every week. It Bizzaro’s favorite part. If Pa Kent not fly into wall one more time, Bizzaro won’t write letter to network. It is nice to treat Pa Kent that way.

Bizzaro hates comic books. Likes Detective Comics though. Bizzaro continued subscription, last issue so good. Bizzaro likes crossover and stunts. He is rich to pay so little for stunts. DC editors genious to make Bizzaro pay little for good comics.

Bizzaro TiVo Alias. It not on same time as Smallville. Jennifer Gardner am skinny and ugly. She should die, though. Bizzaro hate her worse than Lana Lang. Even if she skinny with Ben Afleck’s angel-child. Bizzaro love Ben Afleck less than Lana Lang. They should live together. Keep tormenting Bizzaro’s dreams.

Bizzaro also hate pizza and icecream. Bizzaro love his job. Next week, Bizzaro pick worst old TV shows he predicts die after Christmas.

—–
Bizzaro Superman is a full-time staff writer for Suicidal Snowflakes. Last year he won the Whie-mea Award. He lives in Metropolis with his kitten, Snowball.

Trees bleed

trickle then a flow,

flesh falling

from bones

corpses–

jutting from hard earth

clawing toward sky

the moon doesn’t care.

clouds cover over

a blanket, a grave

saying goodbye,

making peace

the sun throws

itself on the coffin

wanting

to take back cruel

words once said

quaking and weeping

waiting for forgiveness

…fleeing

at dusk–

frozen skeletons rattle

dance in wind,

searching for their flesh.

Trees bleed

trickle then a flow,

flesh falling

from bones

corpses–

jutting from hard earth

clawing toward sky

the moon doesn’t care.

clouds cover over

a blanket, a grave

saying goodbye,

making peace

the sun throws

itself on the coffin

wanting

to take back cruel

words once said

quaking and weeping

waiting for forgiveness

�fleeing

at dusk–

frozen skeletons rattle

dance in wind,

searching for their flesh.

A ride on the wedgie machine

The wedgie machine called life, if you will. Not to be confused with my trip to sandcastle this summer. BTW, wouldn’t sandcastle be awesome if they had like heated water, and you could go in the winter?? That’d be smokin’

Anyways… I explained to a friend exactly how my weekend plans had gotten changed. The conversation went a little something like this.

Friend: They at least give you some KY for that?

Me: No. Which explains the anal bleeding.

Friend: You got screwed. Hard.

Me: Screwed implies a modicum of concent. This was flat out rape. Is sodomy legal in this state?